Forget simply falling in love. According to some headhunters, the secret to finding “the one” is to treat it like a numbers game.
The pure volume of daters [in the city means] you have to sift through them similar to interviewing a ton of candidates for a job.
So to efficiently find the best possible romantic match, act like a headhunter when looking for love.
Below are six ways to date like a recruiter.
1. Write down your dating goals
Just like when you’re mapping out your career, write down a list of things you’re looking for in a partner. This lets you know whether or not your date fits your profile.
2. Scroll through their social media
An easy way to start filtering out your prospective matches is to comb through their social media: Instagram and LinkedIn. When it comes to dating, we tend to look for people similar to us. Whether that means having similar socioeconomic backgrounds, career paths or hobbies, that screening matches’ online footprints will give you a clue to whether or not that person is worth meeting in person.
3. Grab coffee, not dinner
Instead of investing in a multicourse meal or a round of drinks on a first date, meet your match for some coffee or matcha. As a hiring manager you don’t want to be sucked into a full-day screener [with a candidate. Scheduling a 30-minute coffee date gives you enough time to get to know your match before deciding if he’s worth another meeting. That leaves you time and saves you cost if you’d like to cut the date short.
4. Ask strategic questions
First dates are not the time to beat around the bush. You need to treat it like a formal interview and asks questions to see if they’re actually compatible. But don’t ask “yes or no” questions. Instead, ask open-ended questions so they can express how they truly feel. For example, if you want to confirm that he’s not a misogynist, instead of asking him “Do you respect women?” try “What’s your relationship like with your mom?” “You’ll need to eventually ask the tough questions that make sense based on what you’re looking for.
5. Stick to the 90-day rebate policy
Just like most new hires have a 90-day probationary period, it takes just as long to get to know the person that you’re with. Once you hit the 90-day mark, sit down and reflect on that person’s pluses and minuses and what value he adds to your life. That’s their trial period. After that you need to decide whether you want to continue dating this person seriously or not.
6. End things amicably
When a candidate doesn’t get the job, it’s best to be as vague as possible when it comes to providing feedback to avoid liabilities. That applies to breaking up with someone you’re dating as well. Stick to a script, such as: “It’s not you, it’s me; we want different things.” This way, it lets the jilted partner off without too many feelings hurt. You don’t need to get into specifics of why it didn’t work out. It’s not your job to fix someone.